A Stranger in a Strange Land, aka Can You Spare a Square?

I have officially survived my first 24 hours in Beijing and have successfully compiled a primer for transferring my associations of "normal" to life here in China. Here goes: First, electricity. Electricity works like this: All buildings are dark all day to conserve energy. Lights go out in any room that is not being used. Hallways light up when you pass through them but then go out again a few seconds later. And by "light up" I mean it is the equivalent of a bug zapper. Dorm rooms here at The Beijing Language and Culture University require that you insert your door key card into a slot by the door on the wall. This initiates power to all switches and plugs in the room. Taking the card out causes everything to go off and leaving the room also makes everything go off automatically. Trying to understand this after three plane rides, 24 hours of flying halfway around the world, and a life threatening ride from the airport on a very questionable bus circa 1980..... well, lets just say it was like a monkey trying to figure out a rubics cube.

After "creating fire" in my room and feeling quite accomplished, I decided to hit the sack but instead slammed into my bed with the force of a safe hitting the side of a ship. As I woefully discovered, apparently my bed conveniently serves also as a dining table, as it is nothing but a flat hard wooden surface covered with a quilt. Should I decide to have guests over, we can serve a suitable meal.

Here at building number 4, also known to me as "Hope" (There is a restaurant on the first floor with a big sign outside that shines like a beacon in the night, the name simply.... "Hope"), we live the high life with actual American toilets. Don't get too excited, though. Once you leave "Hope" you find "Dismay" everywhere else. All other places have Chinese toilets which are porcelain holes in the floor that you must squat over. Furthermore, toilet paper is not available anywhere and cannot be flushed. It can be purchased at the Wal Mart down the street and you must keep a roll in your purse for said squatting occasions.

Getting Travelers Checks cashed and exchanged for Chinese RMB (the currency here) is "hen you isi" (pronounced hen yo eeseh, and means very interesting). You must fill out several forms all of which are in Chinese and then wait about ten minutes while you watch the bank teller fill out at least twice as much paper work, rearranging it constantly like a shell game. It looks horribly inefficient and they don't seem to be too concerned if you don't fill out the form properly or completely.

In the very early mornings, the older people in the neighborhood congregate on campus to do Tai Chi. It is very quiet and it flows like water. It also attracts all the hundreds of cats who live in the area. Don't ask me why. All I've heard is that the cats come out at that time of day because it is quiet. They hide the rest of the day. Nonetheless watching old Chinese people charm a sea of cats with their Tai Chi movements makes them seem almost like wizards of a sort.

Here in China, they tend to use a "common sense" approach to things like construction and traffic flow. OSHA is not needed here. For instance, a new building is being constructed on campus and welding is done with sparks flying everywhere as students pass right by. The assumption seems to be that if you are stupid enough to get too close to the sparks and say, have a Michael Jackson moment, then you deserve to be bald. Likewise, there are crosswalks but if you are too stupid to walk across when a car is coming, consider yourself roadkill.

The food here is next to godliness in the most heavenly of ways. Can I stress enough that the pleasure of this food is truly spiritual???? The "canting" (pronounced tsan-ting, and means cafeteria) has a profound selection of dishes all at very affordable prices. The menu is in Chinese, with an occasional English translation so ordering properly is very important to avoid ending up with a steaming bowl of chicken feet or cow's tongue. Yes it can be exotic but almost everything is absolutely delicious. However, you must be well practiced in the art of chopsticks because forks and spoons do not exist. You will starve to death if you cannot master the chopsticks.

So, it is very different here and the culture shock can be overwhelming but I cannot stress how much I love this place. It is beautiful and simple. The people are gracious and extremely considerate of each other. There is an order here of a kind, peaceful politeness that to be honest could be very useful to call upon the next time I'm traveling the Beltway. The lesson I will bring home with me from Day one: Be kind, be patient, be tolerant and above all..... be grateful for toilet paper.