China the Beautiful

Well all good things must come to an end. My time here in China has been so much more than I ever could have expected. As much as I miss Chris, my dogs, my family, my friends, I have to say I have found a home here in the People's Republic. This country is beautiful, filled with culture, full of kind, considerate people and just simply a great place to live. This is what I've been missing by living in the U.S. While writing in this blog, I've pointed out some things I've found to be funny or different, using my sense of humor to portray them. Well, here are some other things I've noticed about China and its people that are different from life back home in the states:

1. Chinese people do not suffer from exasperation when people bump into them or cut them off.

2. Chinese people, especially women, take great pride in looking nice and take every opportunity to wear fancy shoes or pretty dresses every time they leave the house.

3. China has a deep and rich culture and the people are proud of it, praise it, protect it and keep it alive in their daily lives.

4. Older Chinese people are very fit and active. They play games, dance, sing songs, do art..... all to keep themselves and their culture alive and well.

5. Television is not a part of daily life. People are out and about most of the day and evening.

6. Children are not overprotected because they are disciplined well and cared for by their families.

7. Large groups of people go out to eat or share outings together frequently. There is a strong sense of friendship here and food is shared by everyone at the table.

8. Chinese people communicate with each other so as not to harbor ill feelings, hold grudges or argue. They have a very healthy level of communication.

9. Chinese people work hard and do not have a sense of entitlement. They earn their way and they do not complain about their "rights."

10. Chinese people are thankful for the simplest things. They do not weigh themselves down with feelings of privilege, nor do they focus on what they don't have.

11. Chinese people do not get their pants in a twist when their government makes decisions that are clearly good for the overall public. They use common sense where these policies are concerned and don't protest in self righteousness.

There are so many more, but to be honest, I think I'd lose a lot of American readers out of boredom if I kept going. The bottom line is that if the United States and its people honestly believe they are the greatest nation in the world, they really have a lot to learn. Don't get me wrong, I appreciate the great things about the U.S. and what the founders went through to make it a reality. But believe me when I say, our country has gone desperately astray.

It would do our country good to pay attention and learn from what countries like China are doing. The arrogance of the United States is really getting old and I'm not surprised that people are losing their patience with it. Here's a perfect example. The other night we celebrated opening ceremonies here in Beijing. It was a night that has been held in the hearts of every Chinese person for at least the last year but probably a lot longer. They have looked forward to this night with all their hopes and dreams and when it finally came they were elated. There was an energy in the air that I have never sensed before in my life.

Well, our group of American students went to Hou Hai to celebrate this occasion. There were parties going on all over the city but this was our favorite place. When we first got there, the entrances were blocked by strict security. It looked like no one was getting in without proper documentation, whatever that was. But we, the white Americans walked up to the military guards and without words or hesitation, they lifted the ropes and let us in. Of course the overprivileged Americans did not even notice the courtesy they had just been granted. Instead, they acted like they deserved it.

When we got to the bar where we had chosen to spend our evening, we found many Chinese people already there. Each bar had a huge screen to watch the ceremony and all of the bars were open to the outside but most of the seats were taken. The Americans walked in and sat down and were served drinks at a fraction of the cost while the Chinese all had to pay 500 kuai for a table and pay more for their drinks. This again went unnoticed. As the time came closer for the start of the ceremony, the Chinese got more and more excited but the Americans got more and more drunk. They were loud and obnoxious, belligerently drunk.

The Chinese kept looking at them and were getting restless because it was hard to hear the event they had waited so long to see. But they never complained. They wouldn't. They are too polite. The Americans on the other hand never recognized anyone else but themselves and were yelling and carrying on as if they were the only ones in the bar. You see, the concept of rights is so deeply ingrained in American culture that it has actually become a problem. Americans totally lack the ability to recognize others and how their "rights" affect other people. It does not even occur to them to consider other people.

As if things could not get worse, when the America team finally came out, the Americans in the bar dialed it up a few decibals and then began to scream "Fuck Bush!!!!" "We hate Bush!!!" That's great Americans. Good for you. It's your right to say you hate your president. But guess what? Tonight? It's not your night. It's not about you. It's not about your sentiments about your country's politics. It's not even about politics. This night is about the Chinese people. It's THEIR night. And they waited a long time for it. If anyone "deserved" anything that night, the Chinese people deserved the right to have their moment, to have it in peace. This night is about the athletes and their dreams. This night is about good will.

I'm saddened by the display but even more saddened by what it means. It means that I am a member of an elite group of people who do not appreciate what they have and will shit all over everyone else just because they can. If you want to talk about what people deserve, Americans don't deserve half of what they have because they don't appreciate it and they haven't done shit to earn it. At least not lately. The only Americans who can say they've earned anything are the military and veterans and even though lately they've had to fight under the very seriously flawed policies they work to protect, they are the only ones who have earned it. Too bad their job is to protect a bunch of assholes who think they can lay around all day being entertained by their television and complain that their job is unfair.

But on a lighter note, I'm glad I did this. It was an education, an enlightenment and now at least I know that although I'm an American as it is defined today, I can work hard to redefine what it means to be an American and I can try to leave this world better than I found it. The Chinese people do that everyday. I've learned a lot from them. For thirty years I've learned about my rights but for six weeks I learned how to treat other people. I guess I'll let you decide which is the more valuable lesson.

Be Careful of Head

So, I mentioned before that awkward translations and language gap SNAFU's tickle my funny bone here in China. Well get a load of this. First, imagine a Chinese Snow White---very pure, innocent, gentile, feminine. This is my teacher Gu Laoshi. She wears a lot of pink, silk and lace and always has her hair up in librarian fashion. Her voice is soft and sounds like scoops of bubble gum ice cream on velvet pillows. Get the picture?

Okay, well the other day, we were having a language gap discussion in class---Gu often asks us how to pronounce certain English words because she is trying to improve her skills, too. Halfway through what started as a completely appropriate chat, she abruptly turned to the board and chalked the words "beach" and "bitch." In her newborn kittens-voice she says, "Bitch... bitch. They sound same. I don't know what you say."

Shocked, we slapped our hands over our mouths, blushed and giggled like small children. Then, while we were still blacking out over this innocent display of vulgarity, she turned again and wrote the words, "sheet" and "shit." She pointed at them with her cotton candy fingers and said, "Shit....shit. They sound same to me. I get confused. Like when someone say they put shit on the bed, I think oh, that a surprise, hee hee hee."

By this time we had fallen out of our chairs and were howling with laughter. Giggling as sparrows tweeted around her head and bunnies gathered at her feet, Gu Laoshi decided to give us a lesson on how to write these naughty words in Chinese. This was just too much. Our teacher, who is made of angel feathers and lotus blossoms, scrawled profanity all over the board like a juvenile delinquent spray painting an underpass wall.

Long story short, I now know how to write dog shit, bitch, piss and ass. I hope it's not on the test. After class, as if the day couldn't get any better, we went to the mall for lunch. As we were coming down the escalator, there was a sign over head that was translated to English as "Be Careful of Head." Chinese people may look innocent, but don't let them fool you. They are an ornery bunch.

Are We There Yet?

The other day, our group went to a mountain range outside of Beijing to go hiking. Our teacher planned the trip for us and therefore chose the mountain we were to climb. Having not seen this mountain, we had no idea what we were in for.

If I implied that the Endless Staircase was a challenge, I am now willing to eat my words. After two hours on a tour bus, we arrived in the mountains, a beautiful spectacle of nature. As we climbed up a winding, narrow road in our oversized bus, we kept passing perfectly good mountains. However, these were not to be the mountain chosen for us. As we drove on, each mountain seemed bigger than the last. I have to say, I started to feel anxious.

Finally, we approached our mountain and wasted no time climbing the hill to our first ascent. It began with a steep staircase of high steps straight up. These steps were basically rocks--- narrow and unstable. It wasn't long before my rear end reminded me it was still back there.

We made it to the top, and my first thought was, "Well that wasn't too bad. Are we there already?" Not even close. The next half an hour was more of the same, steps and paths going up and down through this range. Finally we came to what I called Base Camp One. Here an old man had a hose coming out of the stream and putting water into a natural hole made of rocks. The water was ice cold and he had created a natural ice cooler in which he placed drinks and cucumbers.

Exhausted, dehydrated and sweating like pigs, we begged him for one of his cold drinks. The water was the cheapest at four kuai and all drinks went up from there, as high as seven kuai a piece. By Chinese standards this was highway robbery.

"Tai gui le!!!" I exclaim, making it clear to him that I am aware that he is taking advantage of our desperate state. He knew he had the market cornered on cold drinks, as there wasn't much civilization anywhere close. He immediately responded with an earnest defense of his inflated prices, yelling at me that drinks from the man at the top of the mountain were four times as expensive.

In no real position to argue this point or take the risk of dying of dehydration on the way up, I reluctantly paid four kuai for my water but let him know I was extremely disgruntled by mumbling Chinese words of shame and dismay under my breath. He took my money and looked the other way. We apparently were not going to be "pengyou's" (friends).

After we refueled our tanks with the most expensive water in China, we trecked onward. Let me appeal to your imagination by explaining that the next four hours was the equivalent of doing the stairmaster for four straight hours without a break. The mountain was majestic, beautiful, breathtaking and truly awesome. My knees, thighs and calves were achy, sore, cramping and screaming for me to relent. By this time, we had resigned ourselves to the fact that our teacher had sent us here as punishment for speaking English when we were supposed to be speaking Chinese. At one point we could hear laughter on the path ahead of us and assumed it must be the angels in heaven. We'd climbed so far and so high, surely we had to be close.

After making our way through gorgeous paths and treacherous passes, we came to Base Camp Two. This was basically a small cliff from which you could look out over the whole range. We could see for miles. I have never been so high up in my life. We stopped for a picnic lunch and took some pictures before setting off again.

At this point the group went on without me. I decided to rest awhile longer, taking the time to have another go at a "spiritual" moment. I laid down on the cliff, which was about one square meter of space with shear drops on three sides. I closed my eyes for a bit, taking in the peace of the mountainscape, then decided to read my book. After only a few paragraphs though, I noticed I was being swarmed by mosquitos. Annoyed, I figured one must have discovered me and gone back to the entire mosquito military to announce the need for guerilla attack.

Swatting away, I looked down to find a giant spider had also decided to climb a "mountain"---- me! He was running up my shirt! I screamed, threw my book, which almost went over the cliff, shook him off and jumped up onto my feet. Sighing, I thought, so much for mountain zen, and packed up my stuff to catch up with the group.

After about another hour, I met with them at Base Camp Three. We still had not reached the top and many had gone ahead without us, so we rested and decided to go back down. The way down was brutal on the knees but much faster. When we made it back to Base Camp One, we found our old friend, the Don Corleone of water bottles and cucumbers, and this time gladly paid for his goods. Later the rest of the group joined us and we rested, played cards and devoured the rest of our rations.

On the way back to the bus, a torrential downpour moved in and soaked us all to the bone. Many complained but I was relieved to feel the cool water on my skin. I took my time going back taking in the miracle of this thunderstorm in the mountains. I felt blessed to have the chance to experience both the hot, sunny, clear blue sky as well as the cool foggy rain storm in this magnificent place.

Although I felt this hike in every bone and muscle in my body, it was the greatest physical challenge of my life and I was proud of my ability to do so well. I climbed a mountain in China. In the course of my life, I have smoked cigarettes, consumed enough alcohol to keep the enitre German army warm in the winter, eaten some of the most unhealthy food America has to offer, maintained ridiculous sleeping habits, and smoked enough pot to make Cheech choke with surprise. But I climbed a mountain in China.

I sweat out every bad thing I've ever put in my body and returned to sea level renewed, cleansed and ready to start my life over. At thirty, I climbed a mountain in China, purified my soul and thanked the gods for the gift of my life and for the chance to try again.