I have come to the conclusion that post-pregnancy is actually worse than the pregnancy itself. In fact, being pregnant was really a piece of cake, compared to the string of illnesses and problems I've had since I gave birth. About a week before I delivered, I developed a mysterious, itchy rash all over my legs and back. I thought it was poison ivy but Chris and my OBGYN both said no. I thought this because my brilliant husband was out in the yard one day pulling the evil plant with his bare hands and bragging, "Look honey, I never get poison ivy!" Later that evening he came in, "washed" his hands, and gave be a foot, leg and lower back rub. A day or so later, I was covered in a red, itchy rash. Hmm.....
But the OB said it was heat rash and prescribed a topical that is actually used for fungal infections. So I applied the cream to no avail. In addition, I continued my ivy topical treatments. Nothing happened. After two days in a hospital bed, post-delivery, the rash had spread and gotten worse. The nurses said it looked like a yeast infection and told me to apply lotrimin cream. I did that and nothing happened. Well it got worse. I went back to my OB who then prescribed an antihistamine pill. Still nothing. So then he prescribed a steroid pill treatment. Nothing. All the while, I'm trying desperately to breast feed and bond with my newborn. After the rash continued to get worse, my husband insisted I go to the hospital. So we went to the emergency room where the doctors said it was not poison ivy and took samples of the puss blisters on my leg to determine if it was a bacterial or viral infection. Then prescribed more meds that did nothing.
The tests came back negative and still the rash endured. Finally my OB sent me to a dermatologist who took three chunks of skin out of my legs for biopsy to find out if the rash was related to pregnancy. My OB still insisted that it was heat rash and was hormone related. After a few days of a hard core topical prescribed by the dermatologist and a continuation of ivy topicals, the rash finally started to die. And wouldn't you know, the test came back negative. The dermatologist then determined that it was in fact poison ivy.
After all that, I started having other problems. A bladder infection and gallstones that put me in the emergency room again, all night, in excruciating pain, a slight yeast infection and itchy stitches in my crotch, incredibly sore nipples from breastfeeding and a wart on my face. In the last month I've had my skin cut out and stitched, snipped, burned, scarred..... I'm at the point where I dread waking up in the morning because I don't trust that there will not be another pain or problem to endure that day. No one tells you that when you have a baby your body falls apart. They say it's hard on your body but they do not tell you all the crazy things that can happen. Now to be fair, the poison ivy was not caused by having a baby but there is a strong possibility that it was as bad as it was because my body was weak.
At one point I actually started thinking maybe someone was trying to convince me not to have any more children. Like the gods were saying, "We're going to torture you until you break. Do not reproduce again!" I also thought perhaps I was just not meant to breastfeed. Probably the most important thing to me as far as nurturing my child has been under threat since the day she was born due to all the meds I was being forced to take. In fact, there were several I refused to take because I was going to have to pump and dump my milk. When the dermatologist prescribed the high octane topical lotion, she told me that if it did not work, she would have to give me a high dose steroid for a month that would pretty much put my boobs out of commission. I was hell bent not to let that happen so I applied the cream with vigor and kept coaching myself under my breath not to let the rash beat me.
I cried a lot over the last few weeks out of pure frustration. Ironically, after everyone warned me of post-partum blues, it was the biblical phenomena that just about sent me over the edge. If not for all the bullshit, I probably would have come off my hormones without a hitch. Today, I am scarred but healed, no more itch. But I have survived my third gallbladder attack so far and now face a possible surgery to have it removed. I'm not really in the mood to lose an organ so I'm going to try a homeopathic purge to try to get rid of the stones but that involves drinking epsom salts and then sitting on the toilet all day while I shit myself. And so many women seem to worry about their figure after pregnancy as their first priority. Honestly. If my stretch marks were all I had to be concerned about right now, I'd be thrilled. Right now, I embrace them. They are my battle scars and proof that I have survived one hell of a beating, that in some form or another, just keeps coming back for more.
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