There are two things the Chinese have down when it comes to efficiency: construction and traffic. Boston readers, take note. This part is for you in particular. Beijing takes the gold for laying down mile-long stretches of sidewalk within an hour, and reducing their traffic congestion by half within a day. Of course, they have an endless stream of migrant workers who come in everyday and sleep right next to their worksite, using their shovels for pillows but nevertheless.....
At any rate, seeing the way Chinese people work causes me to see the capacity to build a wall that once was meant to keep an entire nation of people from entering China. Once on the wall, and feeling the effects of an altitude quite foreign to my lungs, I attempted to climb.....and climb......and climb...... no one bothered to tell me the wall was more like an endless staircase up the side of a shear mountain.
It just so happened we chose the coldest, rainiest day to climb the Endless Staircase (I've renamed it). So as I'm sliding and slipping on steps that have been smoothed to an ice rink like quality from all the foot traffic, I notice I'm not feeling like any oxygen is actually reaching my blood. I stop to look around at the beautiful ancient relic almost completely hidden by fog and mist and think, "Is this how this moment was supposed to play out?" Somehow, I anticipated a much more spiritual experience, but then I remembered I was close to passing out and thought perhaps I should come out of this cloud and return to earth.
I forgot to mention we also chose to go on a Saturday, which apparently was also national go see the Endless Staircase Day. China has about 1.3 billion people and a rough estimate puts the head count on the Staircase around 300 million......and each head seemed to be accompanied by an umbrella. The Chinese loooooove their umbrellas. They love them so much they even use them when its not raining. They say it's "to block out the sun" but their not fooling anybody. Sunscreen was invented like decades ago. I think they just like to show off their umbrellas to each other. It's like a fashion statement to have the coolest or most unique one in town.
Anyway, as I'm sliding down the Staircase and trying to have my moment with one the world's great wonders, I'm getting whacked in the side of the head by every umbrella on the way down. You would think that people who use their umbrella every single day would know how to drive it but the Chinese seem to have no depth perception when it comes to their favorite accessory. It is damn near a weapon and I have the scars in my hair line to prove it.
Just when I'm about to give up on my spiritual experience, I find myself being asked for photos. Me? I'm not even really Arian-looking, but okay, I'll go with it. First, a small child looked at me, pointed up at me and turned to look at her mother with this yearning look in her eyes. Her mother, holding the camera nodded for her to go ahead. She just looked back at me and stood next to me. So, realizing she wants a photo, I kneel next to her and smile. As if she just had her picture taken with Santa Claus, she smiled widely at her mom and then shyly looked back at me and waved as she ran off. Her mother, thanked me about four times and backed away.
After the first encounter, came three more. Small children, young men, families, all wanting their pictures taken with the white American lady. Now I understand how Britney feels. Exhausted from my photo shoot, I look around for my entourage and remembered that I'm not actually a celebrity, I'm just very pale. So I skidded like an elephant on roller skates the rest of the way down and waited for the rest of the group to return to the bus. My moment on the Endless Staircase was not how I imagined it would be, but then again, I also never imagined I'd experience fame.
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